Long Time...

Gosh! Been a while since i write on my blog. Nearly forget my password too.
Phew! Times really past so fast. Is Chinese New Year, wondering what this
new year install for me?

I'll update my blog soon. I'm lost.... don't know what to write anymore...
My love has gone and I will never feel that way again.

I have regrets - regrets of why I let you go.

But the sad fact is that you never tried or attempted to straighten things out between us.

You never tried to fight for our love. Maybe because you never really loved me at all.

Dreams...

Even though I remember a lot of my dreams,
I tend to get hung up on the ones I don’t remember.
I’ll sit up in my bed, trying my best to remember
what I dreamt before it fades away.

Sometimes I’m able to recall parts of the dream,
but as much as I try, I just can’t remember all of it.

Being single now, give me lots of time to think
what am i going to do with my life?

???

I'm lost... I'm bored... I'm lonely... I'm Sick...

Gosh! I hate this type of feelings. World seems dark for me. I really miss her. What should I do?

Call her? Message her? Is not about the "Betting Game". Is about, what should I do? I don't care about the game. I bet she doesn't want to hear from me anyway.

She must be happy as I'm not there to disturb her life. Sigh!

I Miss You...

I Miss You So Much!!!

My Dear...

My days and especially my nights are so empty without you!. I wish to see you and hear your voice. I can't stand another minute without you ….

Everyday, every moment that goes by I think of you. My brain tells me not to give up the game, but my heart says I can't stop thinking you.

I spend all day dreaming of the moment, “you would call to say you feel the same way.” As much as I try to pretend, the truth is, I can't stop thinking of you. I don't know how to stop.

I miss you, I miss everything about you, I miss our phone conversations and the way we would spend hours. But most of all I miss you.

Everywhere I look I see your name or a small symbol that reminds me of you, and I find myself getting angry because it only reminds me of the pain that I cannot be with you. From the moment, I wake up and wash my face till start my car, I think of you.

I wish that we could go back to the days when it was me and you. I want to show you how much you mean to me. You make my heart stop, even now whenever anyone mentions your name… I only wish things in life were simpler so that it could be me with you.

I never knew loving someone could hurt this bad! Sigh!

Hurting...

11-11-08 (5.30am)

Dear Diary,

I've been away for days. I don't know what cross my mind. Everything just seems like going down for me. Well, let's just say that I am alive and writting this post. I have never been the type to state how I feel, but there are a few things that I would like to tell her.

Every morning I wake up and there is a pain that shoots through my heart. The thought that I have to spend another day without her rips my soul apart. From washing my face till driving my car wherever I travel, I think of her.

Never in my wildest dreams had I ever dreamt that I would fall in love with her. Words can never express the way i felt for her. I haven't ever talked to anyone so like her before. She make me feel so special like never before.

I'm starting to develop strong feelings towards her, and I don't know why. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm starting to fall for her, and it is driving me crazy, because I can't seem to tell her how I really feel cause she just went away. I miss her. I miss her message on my phone when I wake up. I miss chatting with her for hours. Eachtime, my phone ring or message... I do hope is her but...
Did she ever think of me? Did she miss me? I wonder... I miss her voice...

I thought that by telling myself and everyone else that I hated her. That sooner or later I would come to believe it. But I now realize that by lying, it makes me want her even more.

"It's a long road when she face the world alone, when no one reaches out a hand for her to hold. She can find love if she search within my soul, and the emptiness she felt will disappear."

"How can I forget she when she always on my mind? How can I not want her when she all I want inside? How can I let her go when I can't see us apart? How can I not love her when she control my heart?"

"Life without love, is a life without meaning."

P/S: From The Author:

I dedicate this post to the Special Girl....
I want to take this opportunity to say thank you in my own simple way. Every day seems like a blessing since I've met you.

Words cannot explain how much your friendship means a lot to me.
You're an awesome person. You're attractive, honest, sweet intelligent, kind and passionate in every way.

Your messages cheers me up from time to time. If I haven't told you, I'm so lucky to have found you across the line. Near or far I'll always be thinking of you.

Missing You... Do u?

Falling In Love???

Today 7-11-08 (3.45pm)

Dear Diary,

I'm writing to let you know how I feel about you.
I don't know how to tell you face to face,
so I am going to put my feelings in words, on this post.
Since the day I get closed with you, I haven't been the same.

My feelings I just can't seem to tame.
I am starting to care for you in a different way.

I think of you every day! I don't know how to approach
this with you in person, every day I fight a battle with
myself my heart says I should tell you how I feel,
but my head tells me not to be stupid that it would just cause
damage to our friendship and that you wouldn't be interested.

I wanted to put into words my feelings in the hopes that
although you may never see the words in writing or
even hear them from my lips that you would still
know that I care deeply for you.

I feel that given the chance this could turn into more,
but I guess that will depend on you and how you feel about me.
I know I'm not the kind of guy you've dreamed of, and i'll never will.

I don't remember when I asked for our relationship to begin,
but I remember the feelings you gave me whenever I was around you

Dear, you got me feeling stupid, because I know you may not feel the same,
but my feelings just keep growing each and every day.

Well, what I am trying to tell you is I am falling in love with you

-Yes, This is TRUE!-

Good Bye...

Dear baby,

I don't know how to start this letter; I have so much emotion in my heart. I never thought this would happen, never thought that it would be over, that we would say our last goodbye.

I don't even know what to say. I have so many things that swim through my mind about you that it mixes all together. I don't think you realize how much I love you.

I would do anything for you and more often than not, I do everything for you.
I've given up so much just to have a minute of time with you. I've put off my friends and my family to be with you.

Whenever you've needed me to do anything, I've done it.
I want you to know that you will always be in my heart. The times we spent together I will carry forever deep in my soul in the hope that one day we will meet again and still feel this incredible, untouchable,everlasting love for each other.

The choices you to make are hard and this decision is one that no one should have to make.I lost you and if there was any way I could talk to you again

I would, but you seem to have forgotten about me and you'll probably never read this, but this how I feel and hope you take care.

Good-bye, My love. God bless you.